For years I've wanted to lose weight, look better, be healthier....but there's always been a reason not to. A bad back, no time, too busy - you name it.
Then two months ago I had a serious attack of vertigo which the doctors think was brought on by a stroke. It left me so ill that I couldn't even move my arm without getting so dizzy I vomited, I have never been so ill. Sadly it happened just before my daughter's 21st birthday so I was left feeling that I'd let her down etc - typical Mum guilt.
Two months on I'm so much better but still very restricted in what I do. Still getting dizzy at times, still preferring to hold onto walls when i walk and still not allowed to drive. And STILL waiting for the MRI and CT scans I need to confirm the stroke and to check for further problems such as bleeding on the brain or tumours.
I feel so useless now. I just want to be me again and read, have fun, go out and do the things I used to do. I used to always have three or four things on the go at once and now struggle with just one. I've gone from reading a whole book in a day to only managing three pages over a few hours as my concentration is shot to pieces.
One of the things I can do however is plan. The enforced rest and lack of ability to do things has made me desperate to get things done.
I'm finally going to do what I wanted to do - lose weight and feel better. Until my medical state is improved I can find other things to concentrate on such as skin care and learning more about make up.
This time I'm going to do it :-)
xx
